Poor Little Neglected Blog

Dear Friends do not be deceived. I am still updating this blog. Yes, I know it has been what seems like decades. I have been neglectful and confess to experiencing a bit of writers block when it comes to keeping you all updated on the ongoing adventures of my life. Of course this doesn't mean that there is nothing in my life worth reporting. My family always keeps things interesting...for instance...this afternoon found my mom and my 16 year old and 18 year old brothers waltzing around the house with puppets on their hands pretending to poke fun at one another and singing duets of White Christmas and I am 16 going on 17 from Sound of Music. Why in the world do we have puppets lying around the house? Well, that would be because mom found them at a garage sale yesterday and just could not help herself (she has a little bit of a puppet fetish). Of course I got the whole thing on video. I thought about posting it here...but then I realized the consequences of this (my whole family disowning me) and decided not to :). Nevertheless...there is no lack of excitement around here. That is for sure.

Beyond the daily amusements and goings on let me take a moment to fill ya'll (yes I miss living in Nashville) in on what God is doing in my life. Today I realized it has been 6 months since I finished my tour with the African Children's Choir. Can that really be?! Time has flown, but these past several months have been a very rich season of physical, spiritual, and emotional renewal for me. I am so grateful for God's goodness and faithfulness. He knows what his children need and gives it to them in his perfect time. I've been able to work from home for my Dad doing office work which is flexible, and relaxing. Perfect for this season of life.

As I ponder the future and pray for the Lord's guidance I have seen the Lord clearly guide me into the position of Director of Vacation Bible School at my church this summer. I loved VBS as a child and enjoyed helping out as a youth. I even directed a small somewhat hodge podge VBS in New Zealand when I was 19. This is going to be a much more large scale event, with many wonderful volunteers to oversee. As we plan and prepare and pray, two major aspects about this event bring me great excitement. First of all, our goal is to advertise and bring in many unchurched children from the community who would be unlikely to enter a church otherwise. Therefore, this is going to be a huge outreach and we are praying that God will work in the hearts of many that they will be saved! Secondly, I am excited because this is a healing and redeeming event for our church. We've been through a lot in the last 15 years and the Lord is at work healing wounds and growing the church. VBS has not been a part of the church programs for several years. This year we are bringing it back with new vision and goals and it will be a chance to bring people of all different ages together to minister to each other and the children. I am hopeful and excited to see what the Lord is going to do! Please pray with me for this event (July 12-16). I would appreciate it ever so much.

The ever lingering question is what is next for me. Well, I know I will be here (Lord willing) until the end of July (for obvious reasons). Come August, the sky is the limit. I am knocking on doors and praying for the Lord's guidance and peace. I know He has been speaking to me to let go of my expectations and to be willing to go anywhere. Pray with me that I will not be anxious about the future, but that I will find the balance between waiting on the Lord and seeking out opportunities. Life is a wonderful journey and I am happy to be walking it with so many of you!

I promise to keep up the blog more regularly....and hope you will continue to read..

Calling vs. Task

Every day for the last two weeks I have wanted to sit down and blog, but for some strange reason every day I feel like I have writers block. It's not that nothing is happening in my life or in my head that I want to share. The inspiration to write just hasn't been there. But today I am determined to break the streak of non-writing. So bear with me as I try to explain what has been on my mind...

For the past seven weeks I have been going through a Bible Study by Beth Moore. The title is Jesus the One and Only. I LOVE it. Beth has a way of really digging deep and causing me to think and see things in scripture that I have never seen before. Recently I got stuck on the distinction she made between a CALLING and a TASK. A calling is an overall (usually lifelong) direction in life. It involved the skills, gifts, abilities, and passions that God gives us to fulfill the plan He has for each of our lives. A task however, is a specific (probably short term) objective that can be fulfilled as part of a calling. Disclaimer: these are my imperfect and not comprehensive definitions. Christ called His disciples to follow him and spread the Gospel, and make disciples. He also gave them immediate tasks. We as Christians often confuse the two. God doesn't call us to be surrendered to an assignment. He calls us to be surrendered to Him. So I find myself pondering my calling and my immediate task. Beyond being surrendered to Christ, I can say with a fair amount of certainty that my calling is to minister to the orphans and the widows; to be a helping hand and an advocate for the poor and oppressed. That is what grips my heart. That is where my compassion lies. That is what pulls my heartstrings and fills me with passion. I read articles, I listen to sermons, I watch videos, I see pictures, I pour over blogs, and my heart breaks. My soul fills with longing. My mind gets overloaded with desire to help, to reach out, to love, to share Jesus, but I so often feel that I don't know exactly what to do with all these feelings. This so-called Christianity that I've grown up in-this sub-culture of American, feel good, self-centered, Christian religion that I have been surrounded by my whole life is wrong. I daily see that being surrendered to Christ, believing the Gospel and responding to it requires radical change and commitment. It's hard. It's ugly. It's uncomfortable. It's smelly. It means going against the flow. It's easy for me to say that is what I want. It's harder to believe it with my whole heart and live it out. So I guess my calling becomes more and more clear, but the specific task before me looms as a big question mark. Lord here I am. Send me.

As I wait for the Lord to direct me to the next "major task" (aka job/ministry) I wake up every day with anticipation. He's been faithful to give me small tasks (and some potential bigger ones soon) that are in line with His calling on my life. Whether it is baking brownies for the new family down the street, being willing to serve wherever needed at church, helping my busy family by cooking and cleaning, giving someone a ride to Bible study, talking to the person behind me in line at the grocery store...it's days full of little things that matter. Whether you know your calling in life or not, make every day count. The way we spend our moments is the way we spend our lives.

What Makes a Good Friend

What makes a good friend??? As I ponder this question I realize that we often don't recognize what we appreciate about a person until they are absent from us. Over the years I have come to make a mental list of the things that make a really good quality friend...someone who is loyal, like-minded, passionate about the same things, enjoys life the same way, makes me laugh, brings out the best in me, encourages, loves unconditionally through the good times and the hard times, is comfortable to be with, challenges me, someone I can talk with constantly or enjoy silence with. These are just a few of the things I can think of. It is rare to find such a lifelong friend. As I have read back through old journals from junior high and high school this week I have seen how many good friends I've had that have come and gone. They were best friends for a season and then life drew us apart and we moved on. The last few months my family has laughed at me because I say that most of my friends live in the computer (aka they live far away and I can only keep in touch with them through the computer). This last week however, God blessed me with a visit from my kindred spirit, Laura. As we toured together with the African Children's Choir I gradually saw that she would be one of those rare lifelong friends. Everything is better with Laura by my side. Every day this past week was full of treasured memories, as I showed her around my home state of Oregon and introduced her to the people and places that shaped my childhood and my life.

We climbed Roxyanne...

We enjoyed the breathtaking sights at Crater Lake...

We picnicked at Mill Creek Falls...

We cooked lots of new recipes and drank lots of tea...

This week I am thanking the Lord for good friends and the way He uses them to influence my life. If you have such a friend in your life remember to tell them how much you love them and appreciate them. You can never say it too much!

God's Truth Through a Child's Eyes

God often uses the most unlikely characters to teach us about his profound truths. I love it when He speaks through a small child to reveal to me a profound truth or to teach me something about life. Today was one of those days. I was babysitting an adorable 4 year old boy and together we were enjoying a sunshiny afternoon at the park. On the way home we were walking hand in hand and he was chatting away as usual, when he looked over to see our shadows. We were side by side and his shadow had dissappeared next to mine. He looked up at me and said "Look my shadow is hidden inside your shadow." He smiled and kept talking, but I stopped and thought, that is exactly what it looks like for me to be hidden in Christ (Col 3:3, Gal 2:20). After placing my faith in Jesus Christ I am literally "in him". I am still there, but I am not visible because he has overshadowed me. When people look at me they should see him. I am walking hand in hand with him and together we are one. He is my shield, my protector. Because I am in him I need not worry about my life, where I will live, what I will eat, where I should go, what I should do, how I should serve. My life is in him and I live by faith in the one who loved me and gave his life for me!

The Fragility of Life

Life is interesting. Most days we get caught up in a routine and we busy ourselves with daily activities...take a shower, do the dishes, run to the grocery store, pick the kids up from school, run through the drive-thru for dinner, get to soccer practice on time, stay up late to meet the deadline at work, study for the spanish exam tomorrow, grab a cup of coffee to keep you going, watch a few moments of television to see who made it to the next round of American Idol, do a load of laundry, pay the bills, go to the gym , stop at the post office, make a dessert for the potluch at church, answer emails, call back the 4 people who left you phone messages...and the list goes on. But every once in awhile something happens to stop you dead in your tracks and make you think about the fragility of this life. This week a guy who I grew up with at church (who was my age) died. The cause of death is yet to be determined. Yesterday I went to his memorial service to celebrate the life God gave him. This is the second young person from our church to die in the last month. This leaves me wondering about God's purposes and pondering the fragility of life. I have no guarantee that I will be here tomorrow or next week or next year. All I have is now. I used to be afraid of dying, but as the years go by I am less and less afraid. I know where I am going and I know who I am going to see and that is exciting! But while I'm here God has a purpose for me. Am I fulfilling that purpose? In addition to the fragility of life I've also been thinking about the glory of God and how he glorifies himself through us. He brings glory to himself even in difficult, hard to understand situations (like death). The Gospel was preached at this memorial service and I know that many people in that room did not know Christ as their Savior. I prayed God's Spirit over that place because I know that God desires to bring glory to himself through these circumstances.

Today I had the opportunity to teach a Good News club for 5th and 6th graders. My sister Jackie and I spoke passionately about the power of the resurrection of Jesus Christ. It is the single most important event in the history of the world and our entire faith hinges on the fact that Jesus was raised from the dead. At the end of our time together I played the song In Christ Alone for the group and asked them to write down what the resurrection of Jesus means to them. Most of the kids didn't write much, but a few had some thoughts:

"What does God mean to me...he is the one and only God/Jesus and the only one who can rise from the dead. And that is so amazing and important. When I am with him I do not fear of anything."

"That he died for me. He took my punishment. How much he loves me. He suffered for me."

"He died for my sins and if someone is going to die for my that means he loves me that much."

As I read through so many of their papers I realized that many of these kids couldn't even spell "God." My heart broke. I wonder how many people out there not only don't know how to spell the word "God" or "Jesus" but don't even know His name. This life is short and it is fragile. It could end any moment of any day. I want to use every opportunity to make Jesus known. I want to share with others the love and hope I have found in Jesus. Friends, speak the name of Jesus today and speak it boldly. People need to know what true love looks like.

Teaching to Change Lives

Today I am contemplating how to not give in to the mundane life-the kind of life that most people around me tell me is my eventual fate. The kind of life in which you settle down, get married, get a job so you can pay the bills (even if it's a job you don't like), buy a house, put down roots, have some kids, and get stuck in a rut of every day routine. Now don't get me wrong-getting married isn't bad. Getting a job and being financially responsible isn't bad. Buying a house isn't bad. Putting down roots isn't bad. Having kids isn't bad. It's that last part that get's me. I have met plenty of people during the last few years who were married with kids and had a "normal life" but they they still live adventurously for the Lord. People like the Beasley's who had enough faith to move with their three young children from Texas to New Zealand for a year. I find there is a syndrome....it's called medioctrity. People lose their passion for life. Today as I keep running into people that seem to have succumbed to a fate of living a boring life, I am determined not to. I am praying that no matter where the Lord takes me I will never lose the passion for life and learning and growing and people and everything that an abudnant life in Christ entails.

I picked up a book today that I read in college. Well, I actually dug it out of a box in the garage and dusted it off. It's called Teaching to Change Lives by the amazing Howard Hendricks. It is a classic. The book was printed in 1989 but it will never go out of style. I am sitting here reading through it again and loving the words all over again. A few of my favorite quotes from the first chapter:

"If you stop growing today you stop teaching tomorrow."

"If you want to become a change agent then you also must change."

"The two factors that will influence you the most in the years ahead are the books you read and the people you're around."

The book is funny, inspiring, and full of stories and nuggets of truth. I highly recommend it for any teacher..whether you are a teacher by profession, a Sunday school teacher, or you just teach your kids as you are raising them. Scratch that..I recommend it to everyone because we are all students and teachers in life. Just read the book. You can probably find it on Ebay for $5. Over the years I've been blessed to have been introduced to hundreds of really good books. A friend asked me the other day where I hear of all these good books and it occured to me that not everybody has access to so many good books or knows what books to read. Therefore, I have decided to start compiling a list of books that I would recommend. I will post them on my blog when I come across them, or feel free to ask me if I have any good recommendations. I would also welcome any book recommendations that the rest of you out there may have for me. Please send them my direction!

Quiet Days

Yesterday I had a QUIET day. This concept was introduced to me while I was attending Capernwray Bible School in New Zealand about 6 years ago. The idea is to spend at least 10 hours of total solitude-no phone, no computer, no music, no people-just you and God and a journal, and maybe a few books. I have tried to keep up the habit since then, though have found it quite difficult while living in downtown Chicago, traveling the world, and living at home. There has been litte opportunity for true quiet alone time since I left tour and I have been craving it. This weekend I was given the opportunity to house-sit for a family I used to nanny for. I am relishing in the quiet solitude. Yesterday I spent 12 hours just me and God and it was wonderful. I read the entire book of Matthew out-loud. If you have never done this I highly recommend it. God's word is powerful and life transforming. Something happens when you read it out loud like that. Towards the end of the day I decided to make a list of all the things I love in life, the things that make me who I am. I made a word web and turned it into a bit of an art project. I tried to load the picture but my computer is not cooperating.

Here is the list (in no particular order)...
Adventure
Going new places
Ice skating
Teaching
Organizing
Writing
Children
Mountains
Music
Learning
Talking with good friends
Walking in the rain
God's Word
Driving
Laughing
Inspiring
Creating Things
Natural Beauty
Being outdoors
Exercising
Encouraging others
Reading
Quiet alone time
Traveling
Africa
Giving people hope
My family
Singing
Cooking
Dancing
Public speaking
Photography
The ocean
....this isn't a comprehensive list, but I think it's a pretty good one. A good reminder of the things I love in life and what I should be doing :)

Everybody Has a Story

Indeed...everyone in this world has a story. If only we would take the time to listen to those unlikely people, we might see that God is at work and loves those that the world has forgotten. We might even see that we have a lot to learn from those quiet, unassuming people. Last night I joined some people from this hometown community of mine to help host a dinner at First Baptist Church. The guests were not so called important people, nor were they church members, or old friends, or missionaries. The guests of honor were those men and women in our community who have no place to call home, nobody to love them or care for them. They live on the street, in abandoned buildings, out of their cars, and on park benches. We see many of them each day sitting on the street corner with their signs, asking for money, food...love, but we never stop to talk and ask them their stories. I ate dinner last night with a few very interesting men. The stories are sad, they are aggravating, heartwrenching, and more and more common. I realize that there is not a whole lot that separates me from some of these folks. Many were abused, forced into situations that tore them down and made them into something they did not want to be. I find myself lumping them all into one category and usually find myself believing that they are lazy, addicted to drugs, and probably lying about how needy they are. But I am wrong. It's hard enough for me or any other straight laced, hard-working person to find a job right now. How much harder must it be for a man who has spent 21 years in prison as a convicted felon and doesn't have the money to get a haircut or a decent pair of glasses? It's hard. He may have all kinds of skills and experience and good work ethic, but it doesn't really matter to most people when they see his record. I wish I could do more to help. We sent them off with extra food, blankets, tarps, jackets, clothes, toiletry items, and a smile. I invited a few to church on Sunday and they said they would come. I shall wait with hope and see if they keep their word. I don't have much to offer, but I can smile, I can give them Jesus, and I can do my part to feed and clothe those God brings into my life. There are people across the world in Africa who need my help and my love, but there are also people on my own street corner. I challenge you to look for the people in your life today who need a smile, a glass of water, and Jesus.

Transition

Transition is difficult and often character building. In a way I have been in a state of transition for the last several years. It's made change easier for me, but my body craves rest for sure. The past month has been quite a time of transtion for me. I have found myself excited about the future, thankful for the past, enjoying the present. It's a blessing to have friends who understand me through everything and know how to encourage me (thanks Laura!).

Laura and I attended the Urbana Missions Conference between Christmas and New Years which was an incredible experience. At this time in my life I was overwhelmed by the amount of people, but was able to strategically avoid crowds and still soak in what I wanted to. I know that I'm not ready to jump into another big adventure quite yet, but after a time of rest I feel that God has someting exciting in store. During Urbana he moved my heart and continued to build in me a desire to reach out to "the least of these..." On New Years Eve in an arena of 18,000 believers I praised the Lord and felt his Spirit moving. It was a spangle-dangle moment (thanks Mark for contributing this word :) We began to sing the song In Christ Alone and I cried. This song has great meaning for me because it was the song I was singing in Moody's Torrey Gray Auditorium when the Holy Spirit impressed upon me that I was supposed to attend the school. Once again I heard the Holy Spirit whisper in my ear. I know he isn't calling me to a specific place yet, but He was moving me to a commitment to live outside my comfort zone and to reach out to the most vulnerable and unloved in this world. That much is clear.

For now I am home in Oregon and this is my mission field. I don't know how long "now" is but I am at peace and resting in the Lord. People keep asking me what is next. I could choose to get annoyed since I don't have a solid answer, but I don't. I just tell them....right now I am resting, processing, re-getting to know my family (all who have grown so much since I left!), doing all the things I haven't been able to do in the last few years (grocery shopping, reading, sleeping in the same bed every night, cooking, and looking over old journals to see what God has done in my life). Thanks to a wonderfully generous family at church I have a truck to drive for awhile (yep..I'm a truck girl now!). It's nice to have the independance again.

So I hope you'll continue to read and see what God is doing in my neck of the woods. I plan to update as regularly as possible and pray that my words and my life bring some encouragement and inspiration to your life.

Angela

A few words before the 12 hour bus ride...

Praise God for good friends and times to rest. This past week I have been with Laura at her home in London, Ontario. I can't believe it's only been a week and a half since I waved goodbye to my children and sent them back to Uganda. Over the last 10 days we have rested, cried a little, laughed a lot, and tried to process where we are at. What a blessing it has been to be together. Together we have gone for walks, prepared for Christmas, drank LOTS of good loose leaf tea, watched our favorite movie-Anne of Green Gables, decorated a pretty snazzy looking gingerbread house, made several calls to Africa to check on our friends there, and...went to see the Olympic torch come through London on it's way to the Vancouver 2010 Games. It's been exciting. Christmas Eve and Christmas morning it really started to hit me how much I miss the kids and how lost I feel without them. I don't have any children to care for, no meals to cook, no real place to be. That's hard. I still have purpose in my life, it's just not as easy to see everyday. My goal in these next months is to rest and be renewed, but also to pour myself into other people just as much as I poured myself into those precious children.

It's 8pm and Laura and I are getting ready to board a bus in about two hours to drive all night to St. Louis. There we are attending the Urbana Missions Conference, along wtih 22,000 other young, enthusiastic, missions minded people. I am hoping it will be a great time of renewal and learning and not too overwhelming at this point. If your reading this I appreciate your prayers that God would use this week to help guide me into the next chapter of life. Will keep you posted!